Okay, I’m gonna speak directly to you for a second.  I mean I’m definitely about to rant, but I actually need you, human reading this, to really pick up what I’m about to put down here, and I’ll try to do the same when it’s your turn.  I need it, you probably need it, even if you don’t realize it yet. . So strap in and let’s just talk for a second. Because apparently, some people do not understand, which just blows my mind since for me it’s common fucking sense but maybe I’m missing something?  Either way, I truly believe that if I put this out there and try to gain perspective, that’s the least I’ll be taking away from this, so win-win-win, right? I do declare. “Mike I don’t get it, what the hell are you even talking about?” Alright fine, here we go.  Oh and *unpopular opinion trigger warning seizure alert whatever*

You’re an artist?  Great! Super happy to hear you found a wonderful outlet for your emotions.  Oh you’ve honed your craft for years and feel ready to put these emotional works out into the world?  Congratulations. Ever consider some of those emotions might still be dogshit? Because sometimes, they really, REALLY are.  And they fuel horrible decisions, art, and public stances that aren’t at all based on facts or backed up by actual evidence. Oh and using your artistic influence to spread this trend of anti-intellectualism and gain approval from people who feel the same way about just “going with your gut?”  That’s propaganda, comrade :)

SHH listen!  You can almost hear the clicks of half the snowflakes/broflakes out there who just left.

The other half:

“OH MY (GENERIC RELIGIOUS FIGURE), I AM ABSOLUTELY OUTRAGED AND OFFENDED.  HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING ILLOGICAL AND UNREASONABLE JUST BECAUSE I AM AN ARTIST.  IF CANCEL CULTURE HAD A HUMAN RESOURCES DEPARTMENT YOU WOULD BE IN JANET’S OFFICE RIGHT NOW.  I’LL BET YOU LIVE OFF THE INHERITANCE OF FAMILY-OWNED SLAVES AND YOU LOBBY FOR PRIVATE HEALTHCARE AND STUDENT LOAN INTEREST.  I’LL BET YOU’RE A TRANSPHOBIC PRO-LIFE ALT-RIGHT M.A.G.A. NAZI SUPPORTER WHO EATS FACTORY FARMED BABY OTTERS AND TRAPS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS FOR I.C.E. IN YOUR SPARE TIME JUST TO HEAR THEIR KIDS SCREAM FROM THE CAGE NEXT DOOR.”  

I’m not.  Any of this.  I’m from Canada, free healthcare, no Trump, cheaper education, wrong kind of ice, eh?  Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s break down what I actually meant before I Uber my own ass over to Misrepresentationville.  Oh also otters are fucking adorable.

To all humans: your feelings, motivations, and intentions, at least those which stem from a compassionate and empathetic place, are part of what makes you wonderfully human.  And yes, it is so, SO valuable to be that kind of human at certain times; there can always be more love in the world if and when people truly need it. When another soul is lost or struggling, finding courage to do things we would consider otherwise ridiculous or stupid makes life better for the living.  Countless emotionally-driven decisions in history so universally acclaimed that when others see these irresponsibly kind acts of generosity and compassion happen before their own eyes, they too see a wonderful thing and not some abhorrent act of ignorance.  

Example: how do you see free healthcare?  Do you see it as a method wherein we can provide the basic human right of medical care to every human possible, especially those who cannot afford it otherwise (a.k.a. Team Humankind)?  Or do you see it as a waste of your tax dollars just getting pumped into poor, sick, lower class money-sponges who don’t deserve what they can’t afford? Most, in this country at least, would say the former.  People who think the latter should be the first to colonize Mars though, amirite? Send them off to their own little universe so we can just never see them here again, knowmsayin? Probably the same kind of degenerates that buy single use plastic plates and cutlery every day so that they don’t have to wash dishes or load a dishwasher.  “I just don’t have the time, but look how much water I save!”

Some other times, though, emotions are completely out of the sphere of our control and many times inherently wrought with human imperfection.  Not to say that it is incomprehensible why these emotions come about. At the end of a gruelling full week of work in mid-winter, when you open up Instagram and see people on a glorious vacation in the south, does not at least a small part of you kiiiiinda want to blow up a beach with a ballistic missile?  Exaggeration? Perhaps (not), but can it not stand to reason that such very imperfect feelings can also lead you to incorrect thoughts, conclusions and actions that “feel” like the right move but are just simply not?  Basically like every other human that has existed since emotions were a thing? (The answer is yes, Devin.  It’s called a rhetorical question, not a call to debate everything with a question mark on it.)  

So, could it not also be possible that some of those same people are artists with a following who exhibit some form of influence on the people around them?  Think about your favorite local artist. Have you ever seen them take or share a particular stance on climate change or human rights or corruption? Well-intentioned people sharing information and articles about things they think will help the world because it just FEELS right to take steps to do so.  The problem is idiots like me who actually read the article and go, “Um, this has nothing to do with the narrative that you’re sharing on social media.” The worst is when I challenge that narrative and try to gain more information about it, I am met with immediate dismissal, people ridiculing my replies or reducing them to semantics, and more Emoji and GIF replies than my LTE can load.  Seriously, does it take that much effort to put your emotions aside and offer me a logical explanation grounded in evidence? If you didn’t want to readily offer actual facts and meet disagreement maturely about what you’re declaring, why did you even speak your mind? Funnier still, people who say, “if you don’t agree I don’t associate. I don’t have time or energy to explain how I feel so I’ll just block you.”  Good, truly productive. A real way to create this comfortable little bubble-world where everyone echoes their agreement to one another and everything just “feels” right all the time! *COUGH* Flat earth *COUGH*

The worst is that half of these people think I don’t see what they’re actually up to.  “You clickbaitin’ bro? You tryna’ make the Facebook algorithm work for you bud? Get some-a that sweet sweet sympathy engagement from people susceptible to generic emotional displays of outrage?  No? How dare I?” Sure. Think about this: how did you feel when those pictures went out of Kanye wearing that M.A.G.A. hat? Because he wore that to re-humanize Trump. Yes, actually. Why? He managed to actually sit down with the human person and have a discussion with him and decided to let the past be the past and tried to inspire in him a brighter future.  He gained Trump’s perspective and decided to publicly demonstrate that fact by wearing a hat (source of this information: the EXTENDED cut of Kanye’s TMZ rant/discussion). People just saw that gesture as a racist and/or general dick move. People are stupid.  

Oh you don’t buy it?  Take a half hour to cruise Twitter or Facebook, you’re bound to see someone sharing or commenting on some emotionally-fuelled post about veganism or various forms of sexual injustice, with an article or post attached as “evidence.”  If the person sharing is an “artist,” read the article then go have a look at the comments, and tell me: did anyone actually read the article? It’s funny to see sometimes. Oh that’s too much work? Go spend 5 minutes on some 4chan boards, though I honestly wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to because it’s wrought with all things that trigger every human emotion imaginable.  Those are real people, folks. Real people with actual emotions that seem very real to them. Emotions that motivate them to act and think like they are right in posting some of the internet’s darkest or stupidest content available. Does that feeling they get make them correct? Scroll through a few replies and you tell me. (NO, Devin, the answer is no this time, dammit.)

What exactly makes you so special that you’re exempt from the effects and convictions left by those feelings?  You found a creative way to express them? Wow I am simply shook. Hold on, let me print out a diploma for you.  You have practiced being an artist for years, obviously those credits transfer over to critical thought and reasoning by themselves.  Yeah that’s how that works, those emotions just inherently lead you to the correct judgment every single time, huh? No need to work on that part of yourself since you can perform live or create art at a higher rate/level than others.  “Guess my brain isn’t necessary if I can just follow my heart!” Garbage. Every human has these irrational emotions, no exceptions. Anyone telling you they don’t is either looking you in the eye and lying through their teeth, or seriously needs to seek the help of professionals trained to deal with such incapacities.   It is our very ability for such depth of emotion that makes us so imperfectly human. Therefore, if you’re telling me that you are magically exempt from some of those or have an unnatural effortless control over them, you are also telling me that you are less human than the rest of us. How does that feel, being less human?  Not good, right? Because it’s bullshit, get back on the bus and deal with your feelings like the rest of us.

I have written songs, scripts, articles, plays and comedy routines of which I was profoundly proud for a moment.  Then I take a break, sometimes as little as a few hours. Just enough time to take a big enough step back from it, and upon second inspection, guess what?  Absolute trash. Why? Because sometimes our first gut reactions are not correct, no matter how right we feel they are in that moment. This very article started as just that: me ranting for like two paragraphs about how people can exhibit such incredibly moronic behaviour online.  Then I decided to examine why I felt this way; what are some of the logical explanations humans act like this? All I needed to turn a gut reaction into an opportunity for growth was a little asset called context. Also known in such forms as perspective, experience, conscientiousness, and awareness, we’re talking about looking at our own thoughts from any other point of view than our own.  Some people just don’t care for that part. They don’t consider that self-growth is actually the final result of critically analyzing one’s own thoughts and holding them up to hard evidence so as to arrive at an even more solid conclusions than what they first experienced.  

The point: I have the capacity for artistic perspective and expression, yet that does not make me an authority on things that aren’t at all related to the way in which I express myself artistically, especially if those are based on gut feelings that turn out to be factually wrong.  The only difference with me is I do my homework as often as possible. I research the facts and don’t pre-form some terribly thought out narrative that allows me to further delve into my own personal K-hole of emotion and dissociation from the rest of the world. When I need to know something because my emotions signal that something’s up, I don’t let them dictate to me what’s right before figuring out what context or information I require.  Furthermore, and possibly as important, I avoid at all costs surrounding myself with people who exclusively agree with everything I have to say. No need to create an echo chamber of endless affirmation so that I can stay *shudder* comfortable.  Getting out of one’s comfort zone is when growth truly begins, so if at any point this article has made anyone uncomfortable, you’re welcome.  I intentionally spark debate and discussion on things with which I believe or want to understand. If it isn’t worth discussion, you shouldn’t have brought it up motherfucker!