What the Fuck is What the Love?
I’m ashamed to admit it but I devoured Karan Johar’s latest foray into reality TV. Is it quality TV? Not even a little. It’s pure trash, but I looooove trash.
What the Love? is an Indian dating show with slightly more realism than Indian Matchmaking. Indian Matchmaking showed the process wealthy families take when setting up the scions of their little empires for marriage. While it was amusing in a voyeuristic sort of way, it told us very little about India nor about the ocean of change that’s occurred over the last twenty years. If anything it reinforced antiquated notions of gender roles and wealth (hello Akshay). There was also a pretty high douche factor. Enter What the Love?.
Look, it’s corny — there’s no way around it, but Indian TV can be corny; it’s part of the charm. Karan, one of Bollywood’s pre-eminent producers and directors, chooses 6 “singletons” and puts them through a dating clinic complete with a therapy session, a makeover, and two dates. The value of the show though is in its exploration of shifting middle class values and the conflict between the old world and the new.
The first singleton Karan decides to save is a woman who was once told to stand on a scale and rejected based on her weight. The episode sheds a little light on the way women are chosen as brides but also how cultural attitudes are changing. Thousands of years of misogyny, in every culture not just Indian, is finally starting to crack. It’s far from ideal, speaking to any of my female friends in India will have you gasping in horror at their interaction with men. A look through the personals in any metropolitan newspaper will have you crying with laughter until you realize the personals are not the funnies. It reads like something out of a slave master’s Deep South Digest. “Looking for tall, FAIR, EDUCATED, woman who can cook”. Why a woman needs a medical degree to cook is beyond me. I don’t even want to touch the colour caste which, by the way, was just implicitly accepted in Indian Matchmaking.
It’s no longer acceptable for men to expect the perfect housewife with an advanced degree who’s also a freak in the sheets, wants to pop out kids, and cook up a storm. Oh, and she should keep her opinions to herself. Time to get real. Doesn’t sound like much but it’s a huge step forward.
The second singleton is a gay man. Homosexuality (more precisely anal sex) was a criminal offence just a few years ago. Karan himself, though known to be gay, rarely if ever publicly acknowledged his sexuality. His discussion with the second contestant is interesting for it’s frankness about gender, masculinity, femininity, and of course sexuality. It’s a discussion that I doubt could have happened publicly 10 years ago.
Not only is the discussion open, it’s also honest. There is an absence of innuendo and fear which is surprising considering how quickly things can change in India. Interestingly, the problems singleton 2 has with the gay culture are the same as my own; the constant hunt for the next one. His social problems were also close to mine; a hyperawareness of femininity in oneself, and a magnification of what others may think. These were not unique problems, and somewhat routed in internalized homophobia.
This may seem banal to a western audience but when you contextualize it to a relatively conservative society in a legal landscape that only accepted homosexuality in 2017 (a legacy from colonization, mind you) it strikes a wholly different chord. That’s why What the Love? is a socially important series.
Dating makes us define who we are and what we want, and what we will accept. In so doing, we both reflect and shape the social mores of our time. What the Love? shows us that social mores are changing, that dating and daters are becoming more sophisticated and equitable. They are claiming a future that, despite the government’s best efforts, may be bright and hopefully liberal.
The rest of the show goes on in that vein. The superficiality of physical beauty, the importance of self acceptance, the need for independence, and, of course, giving love a chance.
This is the value of What the Love?. It may be corny reality TV but it’s a sea change in attitudes. Where Indian Matchmaking showcased the world of arranged marriages, What the Love? is a window not only into the dating world of modern Indians, it also introduces us to a new India. As right wing nuts take over the government, the general population is embracing gender and sexual equality, at least in the middle classes.